


Prehistorical Romance

by Vixen13



Series: One Shots [9]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom!Wade, Giant dildo, M/M, Oral Sex, Sex Toys, Size Kink, Spideypool Bingo 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 05:51:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19457692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vixen13/pseuds/Vixen13
Summary: Wade swore he wasn't a size queen, but the toy Peter just found suggests otherwise. But... can it really fit?





	Prehistorical Romance

**Author's Note:**

> Though I won’t mention Bad Dragon in the fic, this is totally based off of a Bad Dragon product. Meet [Stan](https://bad-dragon.com/products/stan). Also, you can totes look up the fascinating video of BD’s owner taking Stan. It’s truly an inspiring video of what a person can accomplish with enough dedication (and the main source of inspiration for this fic).

Peter sat on the couch, arms crossed, one foot tapping rapidly on the floor, as he stared at the coffee table. Or rather, he stared at the monstrosity that covered the coffee table. It was bright red at the top but faded to a deep burgundy at the base. Muscled and sculpted with giant veins, it was bigger than Peter’s forearm.

Gigantic. Terrifying. Lewd.

Of all the things Peter had expected to find in Wade’s box of naughty toys when he’d started his sudden and unexpected cleaning spree, the unreasonably large dildo was not one of them. Peter would have passed it off as a gag gift or something kept for shock value if he didn’t know better. Wade had once launched into a long rant about how many in the adult toy industry didn’t make things that were safe to use because they hid behind the “novelty” label that held no standards for manufacturing.

Also, this particular toy could only be the product of a certain website known for its quality and unique products. In fact, the owner of said website tested all of the toys to prove they could be taken. Peter had looked it up just to be sure, and yes, the dildo was from them. It was based on a T-Rex, and the one Wade had was the XL size.

Thus, the coffee table sized, prehistoric, muscle-bulging cock was made by a reputable manufacturer and purchased by someone who only bought sex toys that were meant to be played with. One could conclude that the mind-boggling phallus had, at some point, been inside of Wade’s ass. Though that was logical, Peter found it impossible to imagine.

How in all the verses could the thing _fit_?

The door clacked as the lock was thrown and then opened, sucking in the smell of food and the sound of off key singing. Wade kicked the door shut behind him and headed to the kitchen to set everything down. “Petey-babe! You here?”

Peter made a noise of affirmation, his leg bouncing faster, eyes still glued to the Rex of Dongs. He couldn’t _not_ talk about it. He had a thousand questions. But where the hell was he supposed to start?

Wade turned the corner into the living room. “So I was thinking about— uh…” He stopped on a dime and joined Peter in the staring contest against the mammoth hunk of silicone.

“I was cleaning,” Peter blurted. That certainly wasn’t how he expected to start the conversation, but his mouth often betrayed him when he was nervous.

“I can see that.” Wade should have said more and rambled on like he usually did. He didn’t. That meant they were _both_ unsure of how to proceed. Noted.

The gargantuan dildo also had nothing to offer, though it was surely big enough to gain sentience one day.

 _Get a grip!_ Peter nagged at himself. _Ask something important!_ “Are you a size queen?” That was a reasonable question, given the circumstances, right?

“You have a wonferfully sized dick, and I enjoy it very much,” Wade instantly responded.

“I didn’t ask that.”

“You kinda asked that.”

Fine, so he kinda asked that. But Wade had a lot of kinks, and Peter often felt left in the dust by them. He didn’t like to think he was somehow an unfulfilling partner. With the groundwork for those emotions already in place, seeing something 100x the size of his dick was a bit of a blow to his ego.

 _Ugh, don’t be stupid,_ he groused to himself. _Anyone would feel tiny next to that thing._

“It’s soft,” Peter said, which was kind of a question in itself. The whole thing was surprisingly light and squishy, with none of the firmness of the dildos he was used to playing with. It felt more akin to a stuffie, which made it all the stranger, if he were being honest.

“Yeah, it’s supposed to be,” Wade said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Since it’s so long, it will go up into the colon. It’s actually pretty easy to bruise, tear, or puncture intestine, which is _no_ fun, I can tell you from personal experience — mostly from bullets, that is — so you gotta have something super soft that won’t cause damage but also bend with the natural curve inside of you.”

“Oh.” Peter didn’t know how else to respond. All he could think of was how that thing would stretch Wade’s insides to the limit. What did that feel like? He didn’t think it was possible to be that full of something. Did it cause cramping like enemas did when the body tried to reject the intrusion?

“It’s just a different kind of feeling, is all,” Wade offered.

“Doesn’t it hurt?” Peter asked. Certainly, it should…

“Not really. Fisting is harder.”

Wade was into fisting? They hadn’t even discussed that! Peter felt adrift and clueless, not something he enjoyed, but often experienced when it came to his sexual relationship with Wade. Of course, Peter knew that was why Wade hid things like this — to prevent Peter from feeling overwhelmed.

 _How many kinks are you holding back on because of me?_ Peter had asked that before, and it hadn’t gone well. He didn’t want to Wade to get depressed and go overboard trying to fix something that wasn’t his fault. Peter had promised that he wouldn’t freak out about anything else, that he would ask questions not knock anything until he tried it.

That was easier said than done, but relationships needed hard work and effort. The fact that such effort came in the form of what looked like a prop from a poorly conceived Jurassic Park porno was part and parcel of dating Wade. Peter knew what it meant to have a relationship with Wade and had since the day they agreed to give it a go. Things would forever be weird and unpredictable, that’s just how it was.

Peter just sometimes needed time to adjust.

_Wade’s sphincter needs time to adjust._

“Can I watch?”

The words hung in the air between them. Peter swallowed, his mind racing, still unable to picture how it all worked. Wade shifted his weight from side to side, eyeing Peter’s closed off body language. It was obvious that he wanted to argue and say it was alright and they could pretend the whole situation never happened. He didn’t because Peter hated that, and Wade was also working hard at their relationship.

“Okay,” Wade agreed at last. “But we should have dinner while the food’s still hot. Wanna watch something?”

“Sure.”

So they went about their routines like it was just another normal afternoon, chowing down on take-out and binging bad shows on Netflix. (Wade paused for three nerve wracking seconds on Netflix’s Jurassic World suggestion before moving on.) They both ignored the dildo still looming over the room from where it sat on the coffee table. Peter resisted the crazed urge to lay an egg roll in front of it as an offering.

Eventually, Wade stood up and stretched, announcing his intention of going to shower. Peter only half paid attention to what was flashing across the TV screen. He was much more focused on the clock and the minutes ticking by, indicating that Wade was taking much more time than usual in the shower. It made sense. He’d need to clean his insides as much as possible. And as deep as possible.

And prepare.

_Is it possible to loosen enough for that thing?_

Peter missed the entire episode of whatever it was he was watching. He stared at the devious dildo as if it would suddenly reveal its secrets. He also wondered if the choice to have Wade use it was a good idea. It wouldn’t be the first time that Wade decided he would go ahead and try something dangerous because he knew that he would heal later. Peter was still uncomfortable about that.

Before his doubts could overwhelm him, Wade stepped back into the room, naked and carrying a towel alongside a bottle of lube. He laid the towel out on the carpet before picking up Dildozilla. It squished under his fingers. He began the process of coating the thing in a heavy layer of lubrication.

“I went ahead and slicked up the insides,” Wade said, conversationally, as if everything was perfectly normal. “But this baby is gonna need to be nice and shiny with it, too. Make sure to use the thick stuff.”

Peter wasn’t sure why that last bit was important. It wasn’t like he intended to try it anytime soon. Was he supposed to pass that information along during small talk?

Wade set the base against the towel and straddled it. Even his muscular thighs failed to dwarf the thing. He gripped the edge of the blunt head, squeezing it to force it into a smaller shape. Then he thrust it between his legs with no further ado. Peter stared in wide-eyed shock.

Despite how much Wade wiggled the thing or how his legs worked, dropping and lifting over and over again, nothing much happened. The squishy dildo would pressed in on itself, looking like an awkward pancake. More force didn’t seem to help things any. Wade wiggled his hips, one eye squinting and teeth biting at the corner of his lip as he concentrated. It wasn’t the sexiest sight in the world.

Peter opened his mouth to call a stop. Obviously, the thing wasn’t going anywhere. He didn’t know why he’d even entertained the idea that it could. This was just some elaborate prank Wade had set up and was taking to far.

However, he didn’t get a chance to say all that.

With a strange squeaking noise from the toy, accompanied by a squelch of lube, the blunt tip as big as Peter’s fist disappeared inside of Wade in under a second. Peter flinched. It was like the thing was spring loaded and just launched inside of Wade’s poor, unsuspecting hole.

“Didn’t that hurt?” Peter blurted.

Wade grunted and wiggled his hips to try and see-saw more of the length inside of him. “It’s a little abrupt, so the stretch stings a bit, but that fades really quick.” He barely sounded affected by the whole process.

Holding onto the base as best he could with both hands, Wade began lifting and sinking onto the thing. For the most part, it didn’t enter him. It just folded in on itself, the material too soft to have enough force to keep traveling inside. With every movement, a little bit more squeezed its way in, but it was a drawn out process.

Peter forcibly pulled his eyes away from the undulating King of Dildos to Wade’s face, wanting to check in on how the man was doing. His concern was unfounded. Wade’s eyes were hooded and lips parted. There was a familiar look on his face — one that said he was flying high and focused only in the moment.

Well, Peter supposed that made sense. After all, stray thoughts just didn’t have enough room to take up residence when already filled to the brim with Tyrannosaurus-dick.

Wade let out a breath, the tension in his frame melting away. His hips sank to the floor, and just like the tip, suddenly, the entire length was inside of him. He must have relaxed enough to just let the rest travel along the slick canal and expand. Other than the impossibly wide base, the rest was nowhere to be seen.

How stretched were his insides? Was it uncomfortable? Was he enjoying it?

A deep moan rumbled its way out of Wade’s chest. He gradually slid up, the impossible girth spilling out of him, still deep red and bulging, and shiny with lube. Then he sank back down, sucking it all inside of him like it was meant to be there. Wade’s cock twitched. Now that he was no longer concentrated on getting it all inside, he could focus on the pleasure.

“You really are a size queen,” Peter mumbled, absorbed with the look of bliss on Wade’s face.

Another gentle rock up and down, reminding the room of just how much was inside of Wade. “I can feel it in my stomach.” Wade’s voice was somewhere between a whisper and a whine. “I’m so full. So full.”

There was something undeniably hot about how desperate and needy Wade was. How much he enjoyed being stretched to the limit. Peter’s breath quickened, and his pants grew tight. He couldn’t deny how much he enjoyed seeing Wade wrecked, and this was the fastest it had ever happened.

Before he knew what came over him, Peter was on his knees and crawling across the carpet. One hand wrapped around the back of Wade’s neck, the other reached down to skim along Wade’s overtaxed rim. The feeling caused Wade to whimper and moan, pressing into Peter’s exploring fingertips.

“Are you stuffed completely full?” Peter asked, voice tipping over into the breathy side. “Could you take my finger? Or two? You think they would fit?”

The response wasn’t words so much as animalistic noises. Wade surged forward and kissed Peter, all tongue and teeth. It was mind melting. Peter dragged his fingers up, teasing Wade’s taint and then cupping his balls, jostling them around, and devouring the moans and whines it caused.

Really, he couldn’t even remember why he’d been so concerned. Wade being impossibly full, his mind silent of anything but desire, and his body desperate to devour Peter was the most wonderful thing in the world. Peter wondered how long Wade could fuck himself on Peter’s new favorite toy. How wrecked could he get? Would he beg for relief or Peter’s cock?

The possibilities were endless, and Peter decided they would discover all of them for as long as it took.

“Peter, please,” Wade begged between sloppy kisses. “Touch my dick.”

“Already?” Peter smirked. “Greedy.”

Wade whined, and Peter ran his hand along Wade’s temple before cupping the back of Wade’s neck. He nipped at the textured skin, tilting the bald head back to give him better access as he bit along the column of Wade’s neck. His other hand continued to tease. He dug his thumb into the base of Wade’s cock, fingers caressing the smooth sack underneath. Wade was breathing hard, his hips grinding down all the way to the towel, as if he could somehow get even more silicone inside of him.

“Not full enough?” Peter asked before sinking his teeth into Wade’s shoulder.

“Ah! N-no.”

“You want more?”

The moan Wade let out was filthy and loud enough to cause yet another noise complaint. Thankfully, Peter had a solution to Wade’s needs and volume. He stood up and undid his pants, pulling out his already hard cock. He let it drop to bounce against Wade’s parted lips.

“We can stuff you from both ends,” Peter offered, voice dark and excited.

Wade offered a string of garbled yes’s, mouth already full, as he licked and suckled on Peter’s cock without pause. He bobbed his head, covering it in spit, making sure it would be easier to slide down it. Peter bit his lip and watched with rapt attention. Wade’s love of blowjobs was always so hot to watch. Lust settled like fire deep within Peter.

“Just like that,” Peter murmured as more of his dick slid inside the heat of Wade’s mouth. “Take it all down. Good boy.”

Wade moaned, and the sound rattled its way through Peter’s hips. Spit trailed from the corners of his lips, the noise squelching as much as his ass was as he fucked the impossibly large dildo. Peter tipped his head back with a sigh as Wade’s nose nestled into the soft hair on Peter’s groin.

Being surrounded by Wade’s constricting throat, tongue laving at the base, face desperately trying to nuzzle closer — it was bliss.

“How does it feel?” Peter asked, eyes hooding as he looked back down at Wade’s wrecked face. “Do you finally feel full?”

Wade shivered lightly, and he blinked slow, mind so far gone at this point. His hands trailed up Peter’s legs, caressing and groping, getting lost in the need to please rather than seeking relief. It was a gorgeous sight.

Peter ran his palm along Wade’s bald head. “You’re so sexy.”

Wade’s throat constricted, his fingers tensing as they gripped the backs of Peter’s legs. He had a hard time taking compliments, but he couldn’t argue in his current position. Peter smirked.

“My hot, sexy man.”

Again and again, Wade swallowed, milking Peter’s cock. His hands slid up to pull Peter’s pants further down and grip two large handfuls of muscular, round butt. It effectively shut Peter up. He bent forward, biting his lower lip, hips twitching forward and back to seek more stimulation. Wade rode the monsterous dildo harder in turn, using his momentum to fuck his own throat on Peter’s dick.

Wade lost himself to his headspace, and it showed in his posture and unfocused eyes. He was getting what he wanted, and loving every bit of it. Unusual as his kinks may be at times, they were being taken care of by his boyfriend. They were both enjoying themselves.

There was something about knowing that Wade was fully satisfied that stroked Peter’s ego.

A finger slipped between Peter’s cheeks and teased his rim. He bit his lower lip, restraining himself as best he could. Wade was a giver, and it was hard not to get lost to it.

“Aren’t we focused on filling _you_ up?” Peter asked, but his voice didn’t sound nearly as stern as he wanted it to.

Wade noticed and responded by running his finger around single-serving-pizza sized base of the dildo to coat his fingers in lube. A moment later, one of Wade’s thick fingers was nudging its way into Peter’s ass. They were both in for a ride.

Peter looked down and noticed for the first time that his current angle afforded him the ability to _see_ the bulge of Wade’s stomach. It was barely there under all that muscle, but noticeable if one knew to look. Peter let out a shaky breath.

Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined such a scenario, but that was the beauty of dating Wade W. Wilson. The merc was filthy, unexpected, lewd, and always pushed Peter to explore a world of new adventures and pleasures. Who knew dating the crazy bastard would be so fulfilling?

_Or full filling. Eh? Eh?_

Ugh. Wade was rubbing off on him.

_Wade would probably name the dildo and call this a threesome._

Peter couldn’t argue that. They should name it later.

His swirling thoughts were shattered when Wade’s finger began pressing on Peter’s prostate, causing a deep, tight pleasure to curl within his gut. The feeling was always so intense. What did it feel like for Wade right now? All that silicone completely filling and pressing on the prostate, shifting and sliding across it with every little movement. Was it too much or just right?

Of their own accord, Peter’s hips began to thrust. Fucking into Wade’s throat and then back on Wade’s slick finger. Peter continued to watch the bulge of Wade’s gut with rapt attention. His mind was floating away, lost in the swirl of pleasure both his own and Wade’s. The room around them filled with the sounds of squelching, Wade’s gurgled and harsh breathing, and deep rumbling moans.

Peter wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, seeking pleasure in one another and drowning in it, but eventually Wade’s eyes rolled back in his head, his cock twitching rhythmically, his free hand gripping tight to Peter’s ass. He was going to force himself to cum untouched.

“That’s so hot…” Peter murmured, watching transfixed to Wade’s drooling, bouncing cock, and the slide of mammoth dick in Wade’s gut.

Another firm rub to his prostate, and Peter felt his balls draw up tight. He gritted his teeth, fucking faster into Wade’s throat. He hissed an intake of air.

“Gonna fill you up,” Peter gritted out.

Wade made a greedy noise and swallowed hard, milking Peter’s cock.

Just like that, Peter was falling over the edge, trembling and flaring hot with release. Cum spurted straight down Wade’s throat, filling his stomach as much the same as the rest of him. It wasn’t long after that his own orgasm drooled from the tip of his dick and dripped down his shaft and balls to the floor.

“Fuck,” Peter huffed with feeling. “So good.”

Wade’s eyes were unfocused, face slack. He was far gone into his own head, not even bothering to pull back for air. He was content to stay were he was, warming Peter’s softening cock so he could remain full to the brim in so many ways. Peter smiled and ran gentle fingers along Wade’s temples.

“You were so good, baby.”

Peter’s eyes dropped to see the deep burgundy base contrasted against Wade’s pale skin. “And so were you, Rex.”

**Author's Note:**

> Rex is the name of the T-Rex in We’re Back. I wanted a pop culture reference, but maaan, there were some terrible options for T-Rex names, and I didn’t wanna go with Earl, Theodore, or Elvis, so here we are.
> 
> Prompt: Size Queen  
> https://twitter.com/The_Vixen13/status/1146286686449651712
> 
> http://thatvixenchick.tumblr.com  
> https://twitter.com/The_Vixen13 (nsfw)  
> So by popular request, my cats have their own tumblr now. https://vixen13scats.tumblr.com/
> 
> Follow my journey to a professional pen name here:  
> http://racheljaquis.wordpress.com


End file.
